Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It’s not gonna happen.
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Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

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Dr. Gregory House: A patient comes because she’s sleeping 16 hours a day, and it takes ten doctors and a coma to diagnose sleeping sickness.

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Dr. Gregory House: You can think I’m wrong, but that’s no reason to quit thinking.

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Dr. Gregory House: Nobel invented dynamite. I won’t accept his blood money.

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Dr. Gregory House: J’ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa… can’t think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it’s crazy.
Dr. Wilson: It’s an unfair world.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: “The body does crazy things.” Well, that explains everything.

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Dr. Robert Chase: She was fine two hours ago.
Dr. Gregory House: If by fine you mean bleeding profusely out of every orifice, then yeah, I believe you.

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Stacy Warner: God, you are such an idiot.
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk.

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Dr. Cameron: Twelve-year-olds don’t have sex.
Dr. Gregory House: Their mistake.

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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die that she may have cheated on him?
Dr. Gregory House: No, I want you to be polite and let her die.

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Dr. Gregory House: I’m extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting, new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: It’s dangerous, it could kill him. You should do it.

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Dr. Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
Dr. Gregory House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

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